Hisano Kuroda

But still...

The more I look at you, the more you
remind me of him.
His nose was just a little lower than
yours, and his eyes a bit smaller,
and his hair was shorter...
Haha, he was a handsome man.

Haha... My husband.
He was a kind man. Quite an attractive
one, too...

> Hisano smiles nostalgically...

Well, maybe not so much in the face,
but... Your expressions and the
gestures you make, perhaps?
...My husband, that is.

> Hisano smiles gently...

Oh my, you're quite a handsome young
man. Don't be saying things like that.
The person you remind me of, my husband,
was also a very handsome man when he
was around your age.

> Hisano smiles nostalgically...

My husband passed away recently...

Do I look like Death to you?

I see...
...You mustn't become Death.

> Hisano smiles sadly...
> You feel you brushed against a heavy
weight that Hisano is bearing...

When I'm with you, I feel like he has
forgiven me...
That can't possibly be true, though...
After all, I'm the one who...
......

...I'll see you later,
-chan.

> You left Hisano and went home.

You frightened me there...
I thought you were my husband...

Watching the river here with you,
like this, brings back memories...

Of when I was still young, before I became
this wrinkled old lady.

> Hisano smiles...

Yes... The area around the river used
to be much prettier than it is now.

> Hisano smiles nostalgically...

I met my husband here in this town.
I was born and raised here, and he was
part of a traveling company of actors.
They'd come to town once a year...
When I was small, my family took me to
see the play... That's when I met my
husband, who was a child actor.
He had clear, pale skin, and he spoke
completely differently from the other
children... He was my first love.

Every year, he would come...
And every year, I would watch...
I gathered all the courage I had and
talked to him. By some miracle, he
fell in love with me, too...
We would just talk behind the stage.
One date every year.

Haha... I thought he was just flirting
with me, but I thought that was okay...
But do you know what he did? He quit
the company and said he would live here,
and marry me!
He did fieldwork, though he didn't know
how... He would come home and show me
his blisters. He was so proud...
...I was happy back then.

I'm sure the day will come where you'll
be so happy you could just cry out of
happiness.
No, there are many people who are in the
midst of happiness... They just don't
realize it.
If you don't know what you should hold
dear, then your life is just a journey
without a destination.

> Hisano smiles...

...Happiness is something you only
recognize after it's already happened.

> Hisano smiles sadly...

Right now... All I want to do is be
by his side.
...But I know I never will.
He went to Heaven...
and I will surely go to Hell.

...You're so kind.

> Hisano smiles sadly...
> You feel that you understand Hisano
a little bit...

I must be going now. It gets cold here,
down by the river.
...I'll see you later,
-chan.

> You left Hisano and went home.

Do my clothes smell of incense?
My husband's tsuki meinichi is today,
and I've just come back from visiting
his grave.

Haha. You young people these days don't
learn a lot about culture, do you?
The day a person dies is their "meinichi,"
and that day of the month is known as
their "tsuki meinichi."

> Hisano kindly explained the observance
to you.

Oh, no. The cemetery is right over
there. I don't have to walk very far.

> Hisano smiles gently...

Oh, I'm still full of pep. I'm not
going anywhere for a while.

> Hisano smiles humorously.

Do you know what Death is?

Death is the entity that takes people
to the gods.
For those trying to reach the gods, and
to the families of those people, Death
can be an ally.

That is why I am Death...

You're a gentle child...

When a person dies... the people who are
left behind start to grieve, right?
"Why did that person have to die?"
That's the question everyone wants
to know the answer to.
How is it right that this life had to come
to an end...?
The person did nothing wrong, and yet...

We want to think that they went
to the gods...
They've been summoned to Heaven, and
there's nothing we can do about it.
We try to convince ourselves of that...
Sometimes... we look forward to Death
taking them up to the gods...
......

You don't quite understand it yet, do you?

That's how it should be.
The innocence and happiness of youth.

> Hisano smiles gently...

You really are a kind child...

> Hisano smiles gently...

> You can feel the kindness in
Hisano's heart.

I looked forward to Death too much...
and became Death myself.
......
Before I realized it, I...

I'm sorry. You don't want to hear this,
do you?
I'm going home now. You be careful, too.

> You left Hisano and went home.

I'm happy we could meet again.
...Why do you keep coming back?
It must be boring, listening to this
old bag's stories...

Well, you're just a special boy,
aren't you?

> Hisano smiles cheerfully.

When I think back... Time used to pass
so slowly when I was your age.
Now, it's all but an instant. Just an
instant, but long enough to worry...
It's rather strange.

> Hisano smiles sadly.

Enough about me. I want to hear something
from you. Tell me anything.

> You told Hisano about school.

Haha. Is that so? You must be brilliant
in your classes.
I'm starting to think you shouldn't be
wasting your time talking to an old lady
like me.

> Hisano smiles cheerfully.

You told Hisano about the city.

I see... it must be quite a large city.
I can't even imagine.
It must be very boring for you here then.

> Hisano is smiling as if troubled...

> You talked about girls.

Oh my. I think you're going to break
a lot of young ladies' hearts.

> Hisano smiles cheerfully.

I wish I could listen to your stories
forever and ever.

> Hisano is thanking you for spending time
with her...
> You feel that your relationship with
Hisano has grown even deeper.

But... I do not want to see you anymore.

I'm sorry... You just remind me of him
too much...

> Hisano smiles sadly...

Thank you for everything...
Goodbye...

> Hisano left...
> After saying she didn't want to see
you again, she left without giving you
a chance to respond...
> What should you do...?

> The sun has set, so you decide to
go home.

I was half expecting you to come, and
half thinking that you'd given up.
Being noncommittal... floating around,
never deciding to be one thing nor another.
Can a man understand that?

I see... I suppose this kind of feeling isn't
gender-specific.

> Hisano smiles cheerfully.

It's not so bad, as feelings go.

> Hisano smiles cheerfully.

I just remembered something...
Before we were married, you remember
that my husband and I could only meet
once a year, yes?
So we exchanged letters, all the time.
I'd wait by the mailbox every day,
wondering when his next letter would
arrive...
The days one came would fill me with joy,
but I also felt that reading it immediately
would be wasteful.
But I wanted to write my reply so
badly, so I would grow impatient and
read it carefully, over and over.

Do you know, I've forgotten after all
this time. Haha!

> Hisano smiles.

I suppose you would think so, today.
But when you write a letter, it's like
setting your feelings in stone. It's more
than just words; it's your heart.

> Hisano smiles.

When you find yourself somebody to love,
try writing a letter for them.
Just one line can convey so much more of
your feelings than a hundred speeches.

> Hisano smiles nostalgically...
> You feel some of the loneliness
she is bearing...

But you know what? I've lost the letters
he'd sent to me.
I thought I kept them in a safe place...
...Well, I suppose I don't need them
anymore, anyway.

> Hisano looks sad...
> Maybe having those letters again
would cheer her up...

> You left Hisano and went home.

The letters from my husband...!?
How...!?

> You told her they were at Daidara.

Oh my, it must have been when he came to
collect the contents of the storehouse...
So that's where I kept the letters...
...Thank you, -chan.
From the bottom of this old woman's
heart. I'm so happy...

> Hisano is very happy...

But I'm going to burn them.

...I'll go get some matches.

> She's going to burn them...
> What should you do...?

> You decided to read a little bit...

> ...You decided to wait for Hisano.

> You saw a quote written on a
postcard...

"The wooden well frame / I was once shorter
than it / I have outgrown it / in the time
that we / have been kept apart"

> ......
> That's all the postcard says...

> Another postcard has a short
composition on it...

"I want to see you so much.
"How much sky, earth and water do my
words have to run through, on and over
to reach you, my dear Hisa-san?
"How I wish I was this postcard."

...Isn't that just so sad?
He had no idea that he was being
deceived...

I'm sure he never imagined that the
"Hisa-san" he loved would some day
wish to see him dead...

......

He was a kind, honest, and loyal man.
...He fell ill and became bedridden.
I had to work to support our family...
He would always apologize to me for
failing as a husband. When he did, he
would smile so sadly...
His illness worsened, and he must have
been scared. He began to take his fear
and frustration out on me.
The man who had been so kind...
...But that didn't bother me at all.
I had agreed that I would work and take
care of him the day we were wed.
"In sickness and in health..."

But he forgot.
He forgot who I was, and he forgot
all about me.
I couldn't bring myself to love him.
I couldn't forgive the way he would look
at me with such confusion in his eyes...
And when I cried, he would wipe my tears
away, like the man he had been all those
years ago... I couldn't forgive that.

I couldn't bear that... that stranger in
his body, stealing his mind day after day.
When he slept... I tried to kill him.

But I couldn't.
While I was standing over him, he looked
up... and he smiled at me. That same smile
he gave me when I was a girl.
And in the same voice he would use
to tell me he loved me, he asked:
"Who are you, Ma'am?"

That was three years ago...
After that day, he would forget who I
was every morning. Every day, he would
ask me, "Who are you?"
And every day, I would answer:
"Who am I today?"
I was a total stranger to him, until
the very end...
He was being cared for by a stranger
as he passed away.
That was his punishment. Punishment for
forgetting me...

...I was relieved.
Before I could feel anything else...
I felt relief. Relief that it was finally
over, for both of us.
It was then that I realized that I had been
wanting him to die.
And because I wished it, he left this world
and went to the gods.
...I am Death itself.

> Hisano smiles sadly...
> You feel that you understand Hisano
a bit more...

Please, throw the letters away.
I can't bear to see them anymore.
I don't want to touch them anymore.
I'm sorry...

> You weren't able to give Hisano back
the letters from her husband.
> ......
> Perhaps you should speak with the
owner of Daidara...

Those are the letters I sent to my husband...

> You told her that you had found these
at Daidara as well.

So, he'd been keeping my letters in
the storehouse as well...
Haha... We thought alike.

I need to throw these away as well.
...But first, can you let me read them?

> Hisano began reading a letter...
Hisano
"We compared our hair; / now it reaches my
shoulders. / If not you, then who / will tie
it up for me when /it becomes necessary?
"The path you left on has long been buried
by fallen leaves.
"Will I be able to meet you again when
the cherry blossoms bloom and the
cicadas buzz?
"Each day grows brighter. I can feel you
coming closer, step by step."

......
I wrote this decades ago, but who knew
that I would become Death...?

> Hisano began reading the next letter...
Hisano
"That poem you sent me was from the
Ise, wasn't it? It's fitting, as I'm waiting
here for you.
"But I wish I could just spring away
from here and run to your arms.
"It would be an adventure to search for
the 'Cowrie of the Swallows' in order to
win your heart.
"If I could transform my heart into the
wind and make it rush to your side,
would you take it into your hand?"

......
...I loved him this much...
And because I loved him, it saddened me
that he forgot my love.
I was miserable and jealous...

I was a fool...
I was left behind because I was such
a fool...
He... He was all that I had...
Now, he's gone...
I must accept that...

You're right... But can I do it...?

> Hisano smiles through her tears.
> You feel that you've touched
Hisano's heart...

Thank you...
If it's okay with you... I'd like to
see you again.

> You left Hisano and went home.

I was lying to you.

...I'm not really Death.

I did wish that he would die...
And so, he died for me.
...That's what I wanted to think.
I thought maybe that would be proof that
he still loved me...
I didn't want to accept that he had died
all by himself, not remembering me,
leaving me behind...

Haha... Do you have someone who you
hold dear yourself?

> Hisano smiles gently.

You're right... I was thinking such
foolish things.

> Hisano smiles gently.

I loved him for almost all my life...

> Hisano smiles gently.

But the truth is... I don't have any
special powers like that. I'm not Death;
just another boring human being.
Waiting for a miracle that never came...
Before I knew it, I was wishing death
on the one person I loved most in the
world. I was lonely, forgotten...
And... Loving, being loved... All that
is what goes into making us human.

Even if he did forget me in the end...
The lives we spent together were proof
of our dedication to each other.
His love for me was never a lie.
All those letters are proof...
I just didn't get it...
Haha... But it's too late now, isn't it?

I wonder if reincarnation really exists.
If I am reborn and we ever meet again,
I'll apologize to him. Then, he'll need
to yell at me for a long time...

> Hisano smiles gently.

Hmm... Perhaps you're right. I think I'll try
living as the Hisano he loved, once more...

> Hisano smiles gently.

> The spark has returned to Hisano's
eyes...
> It seems you were able to give Hisano
some support...

The man I loved is gone...
I can't ignore that fact any longer.
I need to face the truth head-on.

> You left Hisano and went home.

I suppose that today is the last day
I'll be seeing this river.

I've decided to move.
My children have offered me a place
with them.
At first, I turned them down because I didn't
want to leave the place I was born in, but...

Oh, no. If I stay here, I'll only think about
my husband and the time I spent with him.
If I stay here and mope around, I'm sure
he'll feel bad up in Heaven.

> Hisano smiles gently.

If I stay here and mope around, I'm sure
he'll feel bad up in Heaven.

> Hisano smiles gently.

Will you accept this?

> You obtained .

I saved up my money to buy this a long
time ago. I used it to write to my husband
before we were married.
I'd be delighted if someone... if you
would have it.
I'd feel that... our story hasn't truly ended...

Well, I don't have anyone to write
letters to anymore.
But the past, when we exchanged letters,
is connected to the present day.

Thank you...
I believe... that the past, when we
exchanged letters, is connected to the
present day.

I'm sure I don't have very long left in this
world, but that's not the case for you.
You're carrying on my story now.
I think I can keep smiling, to the end.
I think... I've had a good life.

> Hisano's smile is full of affection.
> It seems you were able to give Hisano
some support...

...Do you have someone you love?

Haha, is that so...?
Then remember this:
Live a long and full life. That is the
greatest thing you can do for your
beloved.

Haha, is that so...?
When you do find someone to love,
remember this old lady's advice:
Live a long and full life. That is the
greatest thing you can do for your
beloved.

> You spent a while talking about
different things with Hisano...
> You said goodbye to Hisano and headed
back home...

I just went to visit my husband's grave.
Then I came to look at the river like
I did last time...
Next thing I know, here you are.
There's a surprise.

I live with one of my kids and my
grandchild now. They're all so kind.
...I just realized that I almost never
talked about my kids with you.

I probably distanced myself from
the rest of my family...
I was afraid that if I didn't, I was
going to depend on them...
......
They're living their own lives; I didn't
want to be a burden on them.

So I wanted them to forget about me...
to treat me as if I was dead.
But they welcomed me... and now
we live together.
They take care of me, but I'm taking
care of my grandson.
*chuckle* So there's a little bit of
give-and-take there.

There really is a place in the world
where I belong.
I'd just assumed that there wasn't one.

They're my children... my family.
I regret that I didn't talk with them
before.
My husband's death must have been sad
for them, too. After all, they lost
their father...

Yes, very much so...

Hm... It's more like... there are times
when I get sad.

I'm so happy right now, but because of
that, I feel sad every now and then.
I can't help but think, "He must have
wanted to feel this happiness, too..."

So I've decided that the best thing I can do
is live a long, happy life.
I'll make the rest of my life as great
as it can be... And then I'll tell my
husband about it when I see him again.
Then, we'll have all of eternity to be
happy together.
I'm not afraid anymore.
Just... a little lonely.

*chuckle* I'll also have to tell him
everything that happened in town, too.
About this whole crazy year, those awful
murders, and how the police solved
the case.
I'll definitely have to tell him all about
you, too.

Sorry for making you listen to all my
long-winded monologue.
You look like you still have things
left to do.
You look like you've grown up a lot,
-chan. You're much more
handsome now, too.
Not as handsome as my husband was,
though. *chuckle*

Well then... Take care of yourself.
You still have a lot of life ahead of you.

> You feel a close bond between Hisano
and yourself...

> Hisano left without looking back...

......
I recently realized something.
Precious things remain precious, whether
you're alive or dead...